guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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