my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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