The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Randomize
