DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Randomize
