They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
