he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
Randomize
