Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Randomize
