so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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