Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Randomize
