It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
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