Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
You don't have asthma, your pregnant
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
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