I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
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