We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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