On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
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