The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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