im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
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