How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Randomize