Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
