I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Randomize
