Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
