For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
Randomize
