maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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