I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize