yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Randomize
