I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
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