My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
don't judge my taste in strippers
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
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