Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
Randomize