Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize
