Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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