I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
