What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
