If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Randomize