remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
Randomize
