just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Randomize
