I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Randomize
