please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
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