This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
the liver wants what the liver wants
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
My dad is sitting where you rode me
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Randomize
