my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
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