That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
When are your genitals available?
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