I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
