Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Randomize
