She just used a chaser for red wine.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
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