Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
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