i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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