Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
Randomize
