3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
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