i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
