this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
i love accidental penises.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
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