why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Randomize
