Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize