So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Randomize
