For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
