bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Randomize
