yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
Randomize
