shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Randomize
