I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
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