even my farts smell like vagina
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
Randomize
