I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Randomize