What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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