i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
Randomize
