I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
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