tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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