nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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