I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
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