What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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