i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
you never un-have a 4some
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Randomize
