Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Randomize
