He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
