Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
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